Holiday homecomings: Adjusting from college life
Becky Paskievich
Issue date: 12/7/07 Section: College Life
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"Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays." To some, the lyrics to this popular Christmas tune might read better as "There's no place like home for an argument during the holidays."
Lillian Daughaday, head of the Murray State sociology department, said it's possible for family tension to be a by-product of student-parent holiday reunions.
Holidays tend to be times of great stress these days, Daughaday said.
She said sometimes both students and parents feel a sense of disappointment when the students return home from college.
"The kids might be romanticizing about family life but don't see the daily little conflicts," she said.
She said parents should be prepared for their children to be a little different than when they first left for college.
They may complain of being bored and go out more and stay out later because they're used to the fast-paced college life, she said.
"Parents need to take the lead and be willing to bend and readjust to their children and their changes," she said. "Communication and compromise are very important skills or tools we all need to have."
She suggested students prepare their parents for any major physical changes before showing up at home looking like a different person.
"If (students) suddenly show up with their head shaved and 25 piercings, that could be a bit of a shock," she said.
Brittany Ciukaj, freshman from Hardinsburg, Ky., said she had to adjust to some changes when she went home for the first time.
Her mom had repainted the whole house by the first time she went home, and redesigned Ciukaj's bedroom as well. A different bedspread was on her bed and her lavender-colored walls had been changed to off-white.
"It's still my room, but it looks more grown up," she said.
She said her parents were very strict when she was in high school, but she's seen through her weekend visits they've become more laid back.
"I would have to be home at 9:30 as a senior (in high school)," she said. "They tried to give me a curfew when I came down to Murray, too. Here, on the weekends, I would have to be (back in my dorm) by 11."
Lillian Daughaday, head of the Murray State sociology department, said it's possible for family tension to be a by-product of student-parent holiday reunions.
Holidays tend to be times of great stress these days, Daughaday said.
She said sometimes both students and parents feel a sense of disappointment when the students return home from college.
"The kids might be romanticizing about family life but don't see the daily little conflicts," she said.
She said parents should be prepared for their children to be a little different than when they first left for college.
They may complain of being bored and go out more and stay out later because they're used to the fast-paced college life, she said.
"Parents need to take the lead and be willing to bend and readjust to their children and their changes," she said. "Communication and compromise are very important skills or tools we all need to have."
She suggested students prepare their parents for any major physical changes before showing up at home looking like a different person.
"If (students) suddenly show up with their head shaved and 25 piercings, that could be a bit of a shock," she said.
Brittany Ciukaj, freshman from Hardinsburg, Ky., said she had to adjust to some changes when she went home for the first time.
Her mom had repainted the whole house by the first time she went home, and redesigned Ciukaj's bedroom as well. A different bedspread was on her bed and her lavender-colored walls had been changed to off-white.
"It's still my room, but it looks more grown up," she said.
She said her parents were very strict when she was in high school, but she's seen through her weekend visits they've become more laid back.
"I would have to be home at 9:30 as a senior (in high school)," she said. "They tried to give me a curfew when I came down to Murray, too. Here, on the weekends, I would have to be (back in my dorm) by 11."
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